I’ve never been one for change, unless it’s been planned and all thought out. But the last 7 years of my life have been pretty much living on the edge of my seat and taking life as it comes to me (and as I make it…). I mean, if my original plan had been in place, I’d be working for some company in computers (probably programming or maybe designing circuits) and of course have a degree.
I also expected to be married by now or at LEAST have a serious relationship going on. But none of that has happened and I’m FINALLY realizing that it’s ok. Sure, things are different than I wanted and have been fairly interesting at times but it’s taught me a lot about myself and especially God and so I think it’s been benificial.
Like tonight, I hung out with a bunch of younger kids (kids being college-aged generally) and we watched Batman Begins. Not what I’d generally consider a fun night out, but I did have fun for the most part. There was a line in there where Bruce Wayne was asked by his Dad: Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
I’m fairly certain that it wasn’t meant to be Christian in nature, but it still works. I mean, how else do we learn as humans? We almost always have to do it the hard way (like burning your hand on the stove as a kid). We learn best that way and generally never do it again. But it’s painful for sure. I’m getting to the point now where I can see some benifit from my previous falls and having to pick myself back up again.
No, I’m certainly not perfect and never will be. I don’t have all the answers and I still fall in one way or another every day. But the big falls are not as big any more (at least I’m hoping not!) and I don’t slide as far as I used to when I do fall. Granted, my life isn’t over and there’s plenty to do still. But I do feel like I’m making progress and that’s a good thing.
So what does this all have to do with change? Well, I’m going through some major changes in my life right now. New job, new friends (sortof…) and a new Church. New job you’ve heard plenty about. New friends, well… the old “group” just doesn’t hang out as much as we used to because people have gotten jobs, relationships or just changed personalities. It’s been about a month since I’ve hung out with them and that’s unheard of in Group history.
This means to me that it’s time to find a new group of friends, but I’m just not sure which ones. I’m friends with some people that go to a Wednesday Night Bible Study thing that also go to Casas, but I’m not sure they’re the ones I want to hang out with. Most of them are in the clubbing and drinking range right now and I passed that a while ago (stopped drinking in May, another lesson…). So it makes it hard to want to hang out with them when I’m fairly different in those ways, and others.
But I dunno who else to hang out with so I’m trying to figure that one out (other than the core group of friends that I’m thankful to have right now). And Church, well…� I moved and so the Church I pretty much grew up in is pretty far away now. Plus, the original pastor of that Church is preaching at a Church rather near me. However, there are not NEARLY as many people my age there. So, the Pastor is great but the fellowship isn’t that wonderful.
I will be trying a new Bible Study thing on Wednesday nights with them that might work out well but we’ll see how that goes. So yeah, there’s a lot of change going on in my life and I just don’t know what to do about it. Starting to get a little over-whelming but I’m sticking with it and trying to do what God wants me to do. Now if I could just figure out what that is…