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Awesome!

I just saw Switchfoot at the Rialto here in Tucson and I loved it! I had a great time and really heard God speaking to me through the show. But especially the first couple songs (first one was The Shadow Proves the Sunshine which is a GREAT song and a perfect start). They really put on a good show (saw them in Phx too which was very cool).

I also got to see some friends from The Xchange that I didn’t expect to see which was very cool. And some other friends of mine got to come who LOVE Switchfoot (they’re really the ones who started me on Switchfoot years ago…). So yeah, it was a great time. However, this also means that I’m REALLY tired and have to get up fairly early tomorrow to help a friend move so…

I’m outta here and going to bed! Cya!

2006 03 18 Charlie Uncategorized Comments (0) Permalink

News and the Journalism Industry

Over the last year or so I’ve been trying to keep up with world events and how they are progressing as time goes on. But what I’ve found is that no matter WHAT organization you choose to read the news from, there’s some sort of a slant to it.

This of course doesn’t come as a surprise to me. What DOES surprise me is the number of people that don’t know this themselves, or at least don’t think about it. Journalists are people (duh!) and as such they are not perfect. This means that they can make mistakes and also report events and write articles in ways that slant things in a way that makes more sense to them. OR so that it benefits the people that they support more.

Usually, this is done without the reporter even knowing it happened. Those times are of course understandable. But there are those that will do it on purpose and without any system of checks to ensure that the information is at least valid. And THOSE are the times that the industry scares me. Whenever I am reading up on a topic that is fairly large, I ensure that I read multiple papers (online generally) to get a wider viewpoint.

I also try and get an understanding of who the paper is and what their viewpoints are overall. This gives me a better idea of what way they might slant. Put all of that together with a large handful of salt and I’ve got my unslanted viewpoint of what’s going on. Well, that’s not true because through the entire process, I’m putting my OWN slant on things because I’M human and I’M not perfect and I do have an agenda of my own.

Anyway, I guess my main point is that WAY too many people take what they read and see on TV at face value and don’t think for themselves. I guess that’s just the way the world is going these days, but it’s REALLY frustrating to see. So yep, that’s my rant. Pitiful I know, but I’ll do better, I promise! :-)

2006 03 13 Charlie Rants Comments (1) Permalink

Better

Well, what I decided that I need to realize is that I’m a perfectionist and so because of that, I try to push everything I do to perfection. This is a good thing for sure, but it also means that when I don’t achieve perfection, I’m a failure (in my mind) and therefore get myself into this rut that gets deeper and deeper.

The good news is that I’ve figured this out about myself over the years… It just takes a little bit of time to catch it and stop it. Of course, the biggest part of all this is putting the control in God’s hands and removing myself from the equation. Well, not exactly removing myself, but pulling the responsibility out of my hands and into God’s since that’s where it will work out best anyway.

So, I’m back. A bit of a down-hill there but in the end, nothing too major. Just needing to realize that this is the next major “speed-bump” in my life and that it will take time to get this one taken care of the right way.

2006 03 13 Charlie Comments on Life Comments (0) Permalink

I wish

As my last post has probably indicated, I’m not exactly happy right now. Far from it actually. Why is it that I’m not happy? I mean, I just got a new job that’s going pretty well and so I should be on top of the world, right? Well, it’s because I still feel incomplete. And THAT’S because I’m really wanting to find the right girl for me and have had a LOT of hurt in that area instead.

Yep, it pretty much boils down to girls. I guess that’s the case for most guys my age, but it’s always seemed to be more of a problem for me than with other guys. Through my life, I’d only had three girlfriends. In a lot of ways, that’s actually a good thing because I’ve only had three opportunities to really get close to a girl and have my heart broken (or break hers). But it’s also meant that every other girl I’ve approached has reproached me for bringing up the subject.

The thing is that I know what I need to do. I know I need to turn this over to God and let him take care of it. But this is my hardest struggle in life. This is the one that I always take over for myself and very rarely give to God. It’s sad, but I think that’s because I don’t trust him to give me what I want. So instead, I try to take it myself and end up failing instead. And as I have said before, it’s been made harder by most of the good friends I had before starting to date eachother and leaving me (and others) out of their new lives and relationships. Yes, some of that has been me not wanting to be a part of their PDA, but it does take two to tango…

That still leaves me here, knowing full well what I need to do but not wanting to do it because it’s so hard. I’m even using the excuse that I don’t know HOW to give it over to God to keep me from doing what I know is right and best for me. Well, that’s not completely fair. I really am NOT sure what I need to do for that, but I’m positive that if I put a little effort forward, I’d figure it out.

Above all else though, I want to get out of this rut and remove this stumbling block that has been with me for so long. I want to clean my life up and give this piece over to God and let HIM take care of it. Let HIM worry about it and let HIM make everything work for HIS glory. Because THAT is the definition of perfection and it would certainly be the perfect choice for me. So, that’s my wish and hope. That I can have the strength to give it to God and let him do what’s right in my life. Then I won’t be so sad about it any more.

2006 03 12 Charlie Comments on Life Comments (0) Permalink

I wish I knew

I wish I knew what was going on with my life. What was going on with me but I don’t and it’s getting me more and more frustrated. I’m not able to do the things I need to do when I want to do them and that’s making me VERY annoyed with myself. Not only that but the things in my life that used to make me happy don’t any more. It’s like I’m a completely different person than I used to be, but I’m not even sure what that person is any more.

Yesterday I talked about change in my life and how much change there is going on. But I really only scratched the surface. There’s even more going on inside my head than what I talked about. Besides the change going on, I’m not even sure what I DO want, much less what I don’t. Take friends for example. I’ve had a great bunch of friends for the last few years (4 or 5). But things have changed in the group now and I don’t have nearly as much fun hanging out with them. Part of it is because I was traveling so much with my last job and was almost never around. But it is also because of the other people in the group changing and not doing the same things as before.

No, I don’t blame them (that’s what life is about), but it makes it hard to enjoy the group when it’s not the same as it was before and “I’M” different too. So I’ve been trying to find some new friends but I can’t seem to find a group that I really feel like I fit into. There’s this group from The Xchange (a group at Casas Adobes Baptist Church) that is fairly cool and most of them are in the same place in life that I am. But they are mostly party kind of people and drink and go to clubs a lot and I stopped doing that kind of thing a while ago.

Not only that, but I don’t feel like I’m as good as them whenever I hang out with them. Kinda like I’m the younger sibling that hangs around but nobody really wants them to. Would anybody from that group say that’s the case? Probably not but that’s what I think every time I’m with them (like tonight). Don’t get me wrong, I do generally have fun when I hang out with that group but it’s just not the same…

Then there’s also my roomie and some of his friends. They are cool to hang out with, but depending upon who’s there, I feel like I’m the old fogie of the group (mostly cuz they’re all college-aged and I’m not). Maybe it’s just that I’m picky (well, probably it’s partly that because I am…), but I’m just having a lot more problems with this than I think I should.

I guess it all makes me feel abnormal. Which is the last thing I want. I want to fit in, to feel like I mean something and I don’t. I don’t want to have these struggles and I think I always will. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Now THAT’S a depressing thought. Nothing I can do about it. So here I am, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing. Who I’m supposed to be and as usual, I’m lost. And yes, I’m trying to do it the right way. I’m trying to do what God wants me to do but that’s not exactly easy.

No, it’s not supposed to be easy because if it were, what would we learn? But while I’m in it, I want out. I want another way, something else to happen. Freedom is what I want. Freedom from this pain that I’m always carrying around. From the burdens that I put on myself. Only God can do that, so I guess the answer is to keep giving it to him. Keep giving him the pain and everything else and carry on. The narrow path is the one I need to take. I hope I don’t stray too far.

2006 03 11 Charlie Comments on Life Comments (1) Permalink

Too many changes

I’ve never been one for change, unless it’s been planned and all thought out. But the last 7 years of my life have been pretty much living on the edge of my seat and taking life as it comes to me (and as I make it…). I mean, if my original plan had been in place, I’d be working for some company in computers (probably programming or maybe designing circuits) and of course have a degree.

I also expected to be married by now or at LEAST have a serious relationship going on. But none of that has happened and I’m FINALLY realizing that it’s ok. Sure, things are different than I wanted and have been fairly interesting at times but it’s taught me a lot about myself and especially God and so I think it’s been benificial.

Like tonight, I hung out with a bunch of younger kids (kids being college-aged generally) and we watched Batman Begins. Not what I’d generally consider a fun night out, but I did have fun for the most part. There was a line in there where Bruce Wayne was asked by his Dad: Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

I’m fairly certain that it wasn’t meant to be Christian in nature, but it still works. I mean, how else do we learn as humans? We almost always have to do it the hard way (like burning your hand on the stove as a kid). We learn best that way and generally never do it again. But it’s painful for sure. I’m getting to the point now where I can see some benifit from my previous falls and having to pick myself back up again.

No, I’m certainly not perfect and never will be. I don’t have all the answers and I still fall in one way or another every day. But the big falls are not as big any more (at least I’m hoping not!) and I don’t slide as far as I used to when I do fall. Granted, my life isn’t over and there’s plenty to do still. But I do feel like I’m making progress and that’s a good thing.

So what does this all have to do with change? Well, I’m going through some major changes in my life right now. New job, new friends (sortof…) and a new Church. New job you’ve heard plenty about. New friends, well… the old “group” just doesn’t hang out as much as we used to because people have gotten jobs, relationships or just changed personalities. It’s been about a month since I’ve hung out with them and that’s unheard of in Group history.

This means to me that it’s time to find a new group of friends, but I’m just not sure which ones. I’m friends with some people that go to a Wednesday Night Bible Study thing that also go to Casas, but I’m not sure they’re the ones I want to hang out with. Most of them are in the clubbing and drinking range right now and I passed that a while ago (stopped drinking in May, another lesson…). So it makes it hard to want to hang out with them when I’m fairly different in those ways, and others.

But I dunno who else to hang out with so I’m trying to figure that one out (other than the core group of friends that I’m thankful to have right now). And Church, well…� I moved and so the Church I pretty much grew up in is pretty far away now. Plus, the original pastor of that Church is preaching at a Church rather near me. However, there are not NEARLY as many people my age there. So, the Pastor is great but the fellowship isn’t that wonderful.

I will be trying a new Bible Study thing on Wednesday nights with them that might work out well but we’ll see how that goes. So yeah, there’s a lot of change going on in my life and I just don’t know what to do about it. Starting to get a little over-whelming but I’m sticking with it and trying to do what God wants me to do. Now if I could just figure out what that is…

2006 03 11 Charlie Comments on Life Comments (0) Permalink

One more post…

I’ve written a LOT about my job so far so here’s one more post and then I’m done for a while! I just wanted to give some details about what I’ll be doing, what the company does and all that good stuff because it’s actually fairly cool stuff.

The company is Modular Mining Systems and they make systems for mines (open pit and underground, but mostly open pit) that help the mines run more efficiently. There is a LOT of different things that go on, but the primary pieces are all run by radios and GPS units that get installed on the vehicles at a mine (drills, trucks, loaders, dozers, etc…). Those then talk over a wireless network (generally the same as what you’ll use with a laptop to get online) that talks to the central servers.

From there, someone is controlling the day-to-day operations of the mine with the information gathered. Oh yeah, there’s also a control panel inside the vehicle (LCD touch-screen) that gives the operator a way to get instructions from the central server/office. Those instructions can be a simple line of text with what to do, or a GPS powered map of where to drill their next hole and how deep to drill it (with a display that’s continuously updating with the depth that they’ve gone so far and how much further they need to go…).

So pretty much, the software does general control of the operations and makes things more efficient. For instance, if a loader goes down, then the system will route trucks that were going to go there to get filled to other loaders and then also recommend to the central office that they tell a couple trucks to park because they have too many now (generally) and it costs more to run the truck than to pay the people driving it…

It of course does a lot more than that, but I’m trying not to take up the entire page with just this. But it’s pretty cool stuff (to me anyway). What I’ll be doing is supporting the systems, installing new ones and customizing the interfaces and reports that the customers get. No, I generally won’t be welding the systems onto the trucks themselves, but I’ll be loading software and configuring the systems after they get installed (which means going onto the trucks) and then helping out in other ways if I need to (which sometimes means helping with the physical install).

This will also let me travel some more, but only about 25% of the time should be travel, which will be just about perfect. Of course, there will be times I’m on site for a month or more, but that’s just the way it goes. I might get to travel around the world some too so I’ll take that as a trade off for sure :-)

The point is that I’m excited about the job possibility and am really looking forward to getting moving on it. Just have to get through the 3 months of training first…

2006 03 11 Charlie Job Comments (0) Permalink

I’ve got a job!

Well, I said I’d post more and so here I am… I’ll be starting my position as a Project Engineer at Modular Mining Systems on Monday, March 6th. As I indicated in my last post, this really seems like it’s going to work out perfectly. I’ve been working in Phoenix for the past week at Adjoined Consulting and will be here for the rest of this week too. They offered me a position a couple weeks ago but then a week later when I told them I was willing to accept it, they said they couldn’t because they were being purchased by another company (and yes, I believe them. Their hands really are tied…).

Anyway, they REALLY needed a project to be completed by the 1st of March though and so brought me on as a contractor last week (starting 20 February, 2006) and scheduled me to work through the end of this week (3 March, 2006). So, I’m getting the project done that they had to have done and then will be starting at Modular the next Monday. So yeah, works out almost perfectly. And since I’m staying in Tucson, I’ll be saving about $6,000 per year in housing and utilities. So that’ll be very good. Plus I will get to stay near the friends I have and the Churches that I like.

The only bad thing at all is that Adjoined doesn’t get to hire me and will have to look for someone else, but I guess that’s the way it goes. It’s rare that everybody is 100% happy, so I’ll just have to accept that for what it is and not feel like I’m letting them down (which I have a tendency to do).

Good news all around though so yeah. Happy times!

2006 02 27 Charlie Job Comments (0) Permalink

I love how things work out…

You know, as humans we fuss and complain about our lives and the way things go. Especially of course when stuff doesn’t go just as we wanted it to. But it always seems to work out just fine. It might take longer than we thought it might (or thought we could wait for) but God is always there in the background, working the details to make everything work out just perfectly.

Today, I saw God do that in my life again with my job situation. Thankfully I had put my trust in him already and I’m leaning 100% (well, trying to anyway) on his understanding of what’s going on and ability to make everything work perfectly. And yep, it looks pretty perfect to me right now. I just hope I don’t screw it up! :-)

I can’t give details right now because it’s not all done yet but it’s good news and I’m positive that it’s God’s plan. So that means I know it’s the right one. And THAT I can certainly live with.

2006 02 25 Charlie Comments on Christianity
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Well THAT was interesting!

So yep, I had my interview with Modular Mining Systems today and it was interesting… There are parts that I’m not sure what to make of, but as a whole, I think the choice is clear. Modular isn’t the company I’m supposed to be working for. This also means that (since I was going between Tucson and Phoenix), that Phoenix IS the place I’m supposed to be in and therefore Adjoined is the company I should be working for. However, there are oddities in that now too, but I’ll talk about that in a bit.

First though, the interview. I ALMOST got there late, but it turns out that I was right on time. However, the guy I was supposed to interview with was not there. He was at a lunch meeting with a bunch of other people and had never been informed that I was coming to have an interview. I’m not even sure if he knew who I was at all. But we had the interview anyway (once he got back that is) and it did go pretty well.

However, the job itself is not what I was thinking it was. Modular makes management systems for mines and the primary piece of their sales is hardware they install into the dump trucks, shovels, water trucks, bulldozers, etc, etc… that keeps track of where everything is, what it’s doing and the MOST efficent use of that vehicle. It then allows operators in the main building to assign tasks to each vehicle that are displayed on a touch-screen displayed installed in the vehicle.

The job that I interviewed for consists of two parts. First would be setting everything up for the mine after they purchase it (mostly open-pit mines, but some underground ones too). This includes installing the hardware on the vehicles, setting up the wireless network around the mine (imagine, 802.11b wireless on your laptop in the middle of an open-pit mine… that’s what Modular works off of, kinda cool) and also the servers that run everything.

This of course requires traveling and the official line is that it’s about 25% travel (I’d say it’s more than that from what they said, but I might be wrong). However, the travel is four to six weeks at a time to a mine in some part of the world. Of course, mining towns are not known to be very nice places generally and so that much time in a place like that might not be great for me (considering some of the problems I’ve had in the past).

The other part of the job is doing customizations for the customer and solving any problems they might have while I’m not on-site. That sort of thing would be rather fun I’d think and something I could do well with. But the real problem is that it comes back to the travel. I was expecting something like one week out of the month instead of four to six weeks at a time and so it wasn’t what I was thinking. Anyway, that much travel has not been good for me in the past and so I think it’s just not the job that I should take.

Which leaves Adjoined in Phoenix. So, I called them today to let them know what’s going on and my thoughts and from talking to them, I’m not sure what’s really going on… Apparently they are being purchased by Kanbay, who is a much larger (public) company that does a lot of financial and health-care consulting. I’m not sure what that means for the position I would have had at Adjoined since they may not need somebody any longer (if Kanbay has somebody that does that sort of thing already) or if Adjoined is even allowed to hire anybody right now. Either way, this new um… wrinkle has made things more interesting.

So, Adjoined said they’d call me later tonight (around 7pm my time) with more information and let me know what they’re thinking and hopefully if they even CAN offer me the position still. I never knew that this purchase was a possibility however, so it’s a change for sure. Guess we’ll see where it goes from here!

Anyway, that’s the updates on jobs for now. Thanks for everybody’s prayers and I’ll post more once I find out more.

2006 02 16 Charlie Job Comments (0) Permalink